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So, the plan was to post on Monday, January 10. But my inbox murdered Monday. On Tuesdays I go from dawn til dusk and well beyond, so the new plan was to post on Wednesday. On Wednesday I had ennui and fell asleep in a chair.

But this weekend I have no plans (super yay!), except to catch up on the things that melted off my to-do list in the ensuing lack of productivity (sigh). To my credit, I actually was pretty productive on Friday, even though I really, really didn’t want to be. And some of my productivity involved filling out more endless forms, which are death to me. So I get extra credit.

Finding the Funny

I also had a plan to write a funnier, more entertaining post. Part of the plan for writing a funnier post was to read things that are funny right before writing and then see if I write funnier. Pro tip (amateur tip) – looking for funny blogs on the internet and then following them down the rabbit hole *may* not be the most effective way to be either productive or funny.

Sometime around January 4th, I found this blog:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/03/how-fish-almost-destroyed-my-childhood.html

Warning, it may not be your cup of tea. You may think there is something wrong with me for finding Allie so hilarious. If so, don’t worry, we can still be friends. And I won’t force you to read any stories about fish and butcher knives.

Inspiration from Allie – Imaginary Letters

Dear BJs Wholesale,

Look, we all bear some responsibility here, but you have gotten me addicted to your Organic Peanut Butter, and there needs to be a reckoning. Wherever I go in the world, you now have a moral obligation to follow me.

Yours,

Laura

Dear Eissens Dentistry,

Please stop reminding me how much I pay you.

As I write about it, it seems like a pretty questionable business decision to raise prices and then repeatedly (and unstoppably) throw them in people’s faces.

Financially,

Laura

(I did ask them IRL if I could just pay up front. Having to track payments each month annoys me way more than the .02 cents worth of interest I would be earning on that money. But they truly are forcing me every month to look at how much (more) our dentistry now costs. Maybe they think people can’t add?)

Dear Potassium, (*autocorrect* – Notasium),

Why is your billing system on crack?

Most Sincerely,

A concerned parent

(They used to send me two emails for each kid per month, which seemed a little unnecessary, but at least the billing for music lessons was pretty clearly delineated.) NOW, they send me three emails per month PER kid, one of which tells me that the membership was renewed, another that seems to be just for funsies, and another that allegedly tells me the amount that was charged. NONE of the THREE emails tell WHICH kid they are billing for, and the one with an invoice is very cryptic as to how much was actually charged to my credit card. You can tell from my reckless use of all caps how this weighs on me.)

Retrospective – How did the funny go?

My note to myself after my “research”:

“Is this funny, or was I just in a good mood last week? What IS funny? What is humor? Why are were here?”

If you found anything more funny above, then it went well. If not, well, I should probably spend a lot more time surfing the internet and reading funny things. Right? I mean, I think it’s clear at this point that looking for housing in Bournemouth does NOT make me more funny. LOL cats it is.

I was totally unsurprised to find out that Allie’s favorite book is Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. That is one of the three books I have sitting by my side (in an earlier attempt at “read funny things and see if they make you funnier”). For the curious, the other two are Andy Weir’s “The Martian,” and “To Say Nothing of the Dog” by Connie Willis.

What are your favorite funny books?

Here’s what I wrote on Monday 10 January 2022

A Christmas Training Thanks to All!!

I thought I had included this last week, but realized that… nope. To anyone I’ve forgotten – please forgive me! My brain soaked in chlorine for two weeks.

Thanks to my husband for ALL of the support (and the massage gun!). Thanks to my kids for understanding when I disappeared to the pool for 9 hours out of the day, and was too tired to be much good when I was home. Thanks to the team for letting me tag along. Thanks to Coach Besch for great training. Thanks to Jimmy John’s for giving me something to look forward to 🙂 Thanks to my swimmers for their thoughtful gifts. Thanks to those who coached in my stead so that I could rest and so that we could go see my parents. Thanks to everyone who helped me achieve yet another goal on my way to the big goal. You guys are awesome!

The pandemic has changed us all

My response to the weather being warm enough that I couldn’t just throw my snowsuit over my PJs:

Me (to myself): OK, pants are needed. Do I have to wear a bra?

Me (back): Let’s not be hasty.

Open Water Swim Sunday 9 January

The goal for this weekend’s swim was to be in cold water and swim. Mission Accomplished. Plus the bonus of a mental boost from a pretty day at the beach and a good swim with fun people.

Perspective

I was interviewed this week about training to swim the Channel. It did not feel like it went particularly well. My habit of talking until I figure out what it is that I want to say does not feel like it serves me well in interviews. I have two coming out in the spring and summer, so I guess we’ll see. 

One thing he asked was, “what are you looking forward to about the swim?”

What I said was, “whole bunch of words about the meaningfulness of the whole experience.”

What I meant was:

Thanks to a friend of mine, I had a real mental turning point in thinking about this experience. When I was initially considering starting this blog, I mentioned to her that I worried about going public with it… because I might fail. Not only did Alice make me realize that I was unlikely to be descended upon by hoards of angry blog readers wanting their money back if I failed to complete the swim, but, more importantly, she made me realize that the essence of the experience is in the training and the preparation. Twelve hours in the Channel; thousands of hours getting ready for it.

This truly has made me enjoy the training much more than I would have with a different attitude. The training IS what I’m supposed to be enjoying, and I really, really am. In addition, it protects me from the kind of worry I’m seeing on FB from other Channel aspirants. I am nervous, sure, and I don’t know if I will make it – but I know that I will have fun trying. Many, many people responded to these worried posts with advice… and that could also be intimidating in a different mental state. Everyone has the thing that they credit for getting them across the channel, but if I start worrying that the things that are working for me are the wrong things, THAT would create far more mental problems. I’m happy to try or think about anything, but it’s all too easy to freak out about your nutrition or your stroke rate or your training plan or any of a thousand things that go into the preparation and execution of a challenge like this.

But if you are having a good time, and doing the type of training that prepares you for what you are about to do, you can set those worries aside and enjoy walking the path. (Or crawling. Or dragging yourself along. Or being unable to lift bananas. Whatever floats your swim.)

[OK, so that was A LOT more words… I was not designed for brevity.]

England Business (Jan 3-7)

1/3 – Not much England Business today – got some news yesterday that may change the logistics of the move – gotta figure out what to do and what not to do while waiting to see.

1/5 – Spending the week doing things that need to be done anyway, or can be cancelled, while waiting to figure out if plans need to be changed. Booked a couple of Air BNBs in case we still haven’t found an apartment by March.

Mentally regrouping. My interview with a publication from the beach town I train at was fun, even if I felt like I babbled.

I got my forms from the CS&PF this week! Nice to have something making it all feel more real.

England Business (Jan 10-14)

1/10 – Talked to E about contingencies, emailed Elizabeth about flights, emailed the closest pool in Bournemouth (1 hr limit, but can go longer if they’re not busy), apartment rental stuff upon stuff, asked Marcus how hard it would be to scare up some furniture (if we need to go unfurnished), and probably more stuff – I worked for a really long time. To some extent, I can either do it, OR document it – both is hard.

I am at least dialing in on what we are looking for in an apartment. And I’ve had my first extended response from a real realtor (“lettings agent”) 🙂

1/11 – 1/13 – Did a bunch more stuff that I didn’t document. Getting very tired of my computer.

1/14 – Forms for A

Emails about rentals (lettings)

Social about rentals (lettings)

The Week at the Pool (Jan 3-7)

Summary

Pool Yardage ~ 38,100

OW Yardage ~ 4,000

Temp – 55, according to the Johnny Mercer NOAA buoy

Total Yardage ~ 42,100

I can lift bananas again 🙂

You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone. But this week, the bananas are back in their proper place, and I’m easily transporting their 4 pound weight. 

(I hope you guys appreciate my painstaking approach to blogging here. No detail too small to google how much does a bunch of bananas weigh.)

I feel like I have recovered well from the doubles workouts over the holidays, although I definitely felt a bit more tired by the end of the week than I think I would have if it stood alone.

Annihilation Tuesday felt easy though, and Wednesday’s practice was not the usual “fight to simply get my arms to keep turning over” that it was after most annihilations Tuesdays this fall. So, yay.

The Gory Details

Monday 1/3 – Theme: Back to Business (~7200)

• 150 ez
• 1600 w-up
• 3x:
• 500 straight 7:30
• 500 broken @100s for :10 on 7:30
• 500 broken @50s for :5 on 7:30
• 150 ez on 2:30
• CD: 9×50 on 1:00, max :5 rest
• 50 ez

My plan was to hold 1:20 pace on the straight 500’s, then 1:15’s, then :35s (1:10s). But also to loosen on the 500’s straight. That was more like a 1:22-1:24 pace. Holding the 1:15s was ez – yay. Holding :35s was do-able, holding :36s was… not quite easy, but very very doable.

It felt a bit rough. It’ll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow on annihilation Tuesday.

Tuesday 1/4 – Theme: Not Annihilation Tuesday (~12,600)

Practice 1 John (~1500)

• 150 ez
• 450 w-up
• 5×100 descend on 1:30 (1:17, 1:16, 1:15, 1:12, 1:09)
• 300 kick w/fins
• 200 50 swim/150 kick

Practice 2

• 1600 w-up Besch (~6700)

• 4x:
• 5×200:
• 200 kick; 150 k/50 s; 100k/100s; 50k/150 s; 200 swim
• Odd rounds free: 4:00 / 3:30 / 3:15 / 3:00 / 2:45
• Even rounds IM: 4:00 / 3:40 / 3:30 / 3:20 / 3:10

• 100 ez
• 10×100 (2 on 1:25, 2 on 1:30, 2 on 1:35, 4 on 1:40)
• 50 ez

Practice 3 Macon (~3500)

• 14 x 25 from the middle – IM turns

• 2x:
• 3×75 IM; 3×50 IM order; 3×25 IM order; 100 ez

• 300 Free IM 5:15
• 6×25 fly on :35
• 200 Free IM 3:30
• 4×25 fly on :35
• 100 Free IM 1:45
• 2X25 fly on :35

• 100 ez

• 12×50 kick w/fins on 1:00 – Odd bk; even fly w/prayer hands 
• 125 ez
• 50 from the blocks (30.9)
• 225 ez
• 100 ez

Practice 4 Erin (~900)

• 8×50 on 1:00 – odd free, even br
• 4×75 w/fins – 25 u/w / 25 bk kick / 25 fly kick w/prayer hands
• 100 br kick
• 100 CD

Wednesday 1/5 – Theme: That’s the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it (~6900)

Work hard, accomplish something, and then cool down for 20 minutes. That is, in fact, the way I like it.

• 300 ez
• 1600 w-up (fins on the kick. My “get better at side kick” plan derailed a little when we did A LOT of it yesterday and my leg did that weird thing again)
• 10×50 overkick (tired legs. Very tiring. But great training in case I need to go to the legs)

• 5×100 1:35
• 200 k/k/d/s 4:00
• 5×100 1:30
• 200 k/d/s/s 4:00
• 5×100 1:25
• 200 d/s/s/s 4:00
• 5×100 1:20 (held 1:12’s and 1:13’s easily – yay! Well, mostly 1:13’s… plus a 1:12 and a maybe. Point is – easy, yay!)
• 200 swim 4:00
• 5×100 1:15 (1:11,1:11,1:11,1:10,1:09) woot!

• 200 ez
• 20×50 on 1:00

Thursday 1/6 – Theme: Harder than we thought (~6800)

The kids have a meet starting tomorrow, so we were a bit surprised this wasn’t easier

• 300 ez
• 1600 w-up
• 8×50 kick/drill IM order on 1:00

• 3x:
• 4×50 drill :50
• 4×25 fast :30
• 2×200 IM 3:05
• 2×100 kick 2:00
• 400 IM 6:20
• 200 Fr 3:30
• Rnd 1 – Fly; 2 – Bk; 3 – Br

(I did free or fly drill for the fly)

Friday 1/7 – Theme: Still Not Ez (Macon) (~4600)

• 150 ez
• 500 loosen
• 400 IM kick/drill
• 3×100 descend on 1:30 (1:20, 1:14, 1:10, even though I had to execute curvy ninja turn to avoid L. Ok, in reality, more like flopping eel turn)
• 100 loosen

• 3x:
• 2×25 on :35, 1 breath, no breath
• 50 on 1:00
• Descend the 50s (:35, :34, :33 + a bonus backstroke :37 cause I forgot what we were doing)

• 100 loosen

• 2x:
• 3×100 on 1:30, +9,+7,+5 of 200 pace
• 4×50 on :50, odd build to 200 pace, even at 200 pace 

• I messed up the first sets 100 pacing somehow, but second set was 1:18, 1:16, 1:14 and :34’s on the 50s) (My last 200 was the 2:18 off the blocks at the alumni meet)

• 6×50 on :45
• 100 kick with fins
• 4×50 on :50
• 100 kick with fins
• 2×50 on :55
• 100 kick with fins
• (All aerobic recovery)

• 2x:
• 3×50 on :55 descend
• 4×25 on :30, odd one breath build to all out, evens 100 pace 
• (:37, :35, :33 on the 50’s, :15’s and :16’s on the 25s)

• 200 CD
• 200 ez

The Week at the Pool (Jan 10-14)

Summary

No doubt about it, I was riding the struggle bus this week. I had three bad workouts in a row, and Thursday’s was only questionably saved by the end of practice being mostly continuous freestyle (my bread and butter) and a good draft (thanks seniors, and sorry for hitting your foot). But I did feel better on Friday, and am really looking forward to a weekend off.

A lesson with JP on Friday definitely helped me re-orient. New stroke it is, and I’m going to pretend like someone is always watching (my take). Practices are easier, and I am stronger now, so I should be able to combat my tendency to go to old stroke when the going gets tough/fast.

Pool Yardage ~ 30,000

Open Water Yardage – 0

The Gory Details

Monday 1/10 – Theme: Somehow All the Borings (~4900)

• 200 ez
• 500 loosen
• 6×75 breath 7-5-3 by 75 on 1:15
• 3×50 3 breaths, 2 breaths, 1 breath on 1:00
• 8×25 u/w to halfway on :35
• 100 loosen

• 2x:
• 4×25 turn in middle, keep going on :35
• 8×25 from the middle, fast turns on :35
• 4x 2-turn 50s build into turns on 1:00
• First round free, second back

• With paddles:
• 8×25 free kick on side on :30
• 4×50 25×6-kick switch; 25×3 strokes, 6 kicks on 1:00
• 3×100 long and strong on 1:25 (1:16s)

• 100 loosen
• 2×300 1-neg split (yes, 3:53) 2- strong (3:49) on 4:15
• 6×100 descend on 1:20 (1:17,1:16, 1:16, 1:14, 1:13, 1:12)
• 300 ez

Tuesday 1/11 – Theme: John’s got us now (~7400) 7900 total – skipped about 500

OK, I’m going to record this practice as it was written… and then detail all of the ways it fell apart for me. I give myself a D for the main set and a C for the day

• 150 ez
• 500 descend
• *Joined senior set in progress*
• 2×100 on 1:20
• 4×50 on :40
• 2×100 drill on ?   
• 200 on 2:45
• 2×100 on 1:20
• 4×50 on :40
• 100 loosen

• 3x:
• 4×100 on 1:15
• 100 on 2:00
• 3×100 on 1:20
• 150 on 3:00
• 2×100 on 1:25     
• 200 on 4:00
• Rnd 1: 80% , 2: 85%, 3:90% (of fastest 100)

• Pull:
• 500 on 6:15
• 4×100 non-free on 1:40
• 400 on 5:00
• 4×50 non-free on 1:00
• 300 on 3:45
• 4×25 on :30

• 100 CD

Right from the get-go, the 500 descend became a 450 because they stopped us to combine us with the seniors and split us into sprint and distance groups. Every other pre-senior went with the sprint group. Not me. In addition to that derailment, I quickly learned that asking for a 5-step descent from me puts me into “way faster than warm-up speed” by the end.

When I joined the senior set, I was the only one who didn’t know what we were doing, and there wasn’t time to catch me up. So every swim came as a surprise. This was good training for the Channel, but a really tough way to “warm up”

Ah, the main set. The kind of set I can absolutely nail. Spoiler alert, that is not what happened today. My general plan was to aim for 1:12 pace on the first round, bring it down on the second and then see what I was capable of on the third. Instead, I took it out too fast, died a bit, and then got an absolutely massive foot cramp. I then continued to cramp (and swim through it) through the rest of the set. Here’s how it went down:

• 1:10, 1:12, 1:12, ?
• (Suit falling off – re-tied and did 50 ez instead of 100 ez)
• 1:11 (felt great – very optimistic), 1:14, 1:14 (so…no)
• 1:15, 1:16
• Massive foot cramp during the 200 ez – stopped at the 75 and eventually hobbled back
• Missed the first 100 of the next set, 1:14, 1:14, 1:15
• 1:13, 1:15, 1:16
• Skipped the 150 ez to eat a fruit squeeze in the hopes of getting myself back together
• 1:13, 1:14
• 1:11, 1:14, 1:15, 1:15
• 1:12, 1:13, 1:12
• 1:11, 1:11 or 1:12

So, really not great. But I didn’t give up and I fought through, so I’m cool with it. Sometimes you’ve got it, and sometimes you don’t. And sometimes what you do with those times matters more.

After all that the pull set holding 1:15 base was not even a question – I dropped a 50 from each of the long free swims, and shut it down with 10 minutes of practice to go, so the 300 and 25’s were ez.

Wednesday 1/12 – Theme: Yin and Yang (~5600)

• 50 ez
• 500 loosen
• 12×25 odd – fly kick w/prayer hands, even – 25 u/w fly kick

• 3×100 IM – kick on 1:55, drill on 1:45, swim on 1:35
• 4×50 IM order 25 scull/ 25 build on 1:00
• 8×25 IM order … something… on :30

• 2x:
• 200 free IM on 2:50
• 3×50 fly on 1:00
• 200 IM on 2:50
• 3×50 free kick on 1:00
• 100 ez on 2:00

• 6×100 – 3 on 1:30, 2 on 1:35, 1 on 1:40 (bathroom for 1)

• 300 swim on 4:15
• 6×25 fast 2 fly 2 bk 2 br on :40
• 300 swim w/fins on 4:05
• 6×25
• 300 swim w/fins and paddles on 3:55
• 6×25

• 75 ez
• 200 IM off the blocks (2:58 – had already shut it down)
• 325 CD

Before the 6x100s was bad. Doggy poopy bad. I basically just swam straight and felt terrible. After the 6×100’s went much better, and I feel much better now. I did the 300 with fins and paddles in 3:26. And held fast times (for me) on the 25s. So glad to be feeling better – today was rough and a bit depressing.

Thursday 1/13 – Theme: Boring, but doable (~7100)

• 150 ez
• 500 loosen
• *Joined senior practice in progress*
• 2×75 fly/bk/br

• 2×100 on 1:20
• 1×100 on 1:15
• 1×100 on 1:10
• 2 x 150 stk (2:30)
•   1. K/dr/sw by 50       
•   2. Build by 50
• 1×100 on 1:15
• 1×100 on 1:10
• 150 stk (2:30) Strong
• (Wore fins for this whole set in order to actually get warmed up. It worked.)

• 3x: (Backstroke)
• 100 kick on 1:45           1050
• 3×50 on :50
• 100 loosen on 2:00

• 3x:
• 125 (50 drill/75 DPS) on 2:15.     600
• 75 kick on 1:30

• 800 on 11:20
• 2×400 on 5:20.   3600
• 600 on 8:30
• 2×300 on 4:00
• 400 (shut it down halfway through to cool down)
• 2×200

Friday 1/14 – Theme: The struggle bus has pulled into the station (“5000”)

We did sprint stations today – I’m arbitrarily saying it was 5000 yards

1. Continuous swim, u/w fly kick to a rope in the middle
2. Vertical kick – 30 s on / 15 off / 15 in streamline / 30 off
3. Power towers – 4x 8 u/w kicks / 8 stroke cycles
4. 8×50 back / free, 4×50 fly, 4×50 breast (all kicking to the tempo trainer)
5. 2x 4×100 w/paddles on 1:45, go to the kick on 2nd 50; 100 recovery on 2:00

I felt way better on the power towers than I did last time… then I learned they had less weight 😂. I held 1:09s on the last 8x100s, and, I think, did a fairly good job holding new stroke.