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Pure Joy

“Days like these are far too rare to cheapen with heavy handed words.” But I’ll give it a go anyway. (Bonus points for anyone who can identify the quote in the comments. No search engines.)

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I were discussing how sorry we feel for the folks we leave on shore. How can sitting on the beach be anywhere near as satisfying as sailing through the cool green water under your own power, feeling the dappled light come and go under the trees and clouds? Riding the waves and learning to become part of them, working with, not against, the pull of the moon. Seeing fish leap out of the water and interested birds soar above. There is nothing that gives me the same kind of joy. Unfiltered, unfettered, and uncomplicated.

Human joy can be very tangled up… and that is fine, and worth it. But I grok the water.

As I drove over to Falls Lake it was a bit of a gray morning, recalling last weekend. But just as I pulled into the parking lot the sun burst out and the water sparkled. Melissa, Sam, Heidi, Cooper and Tavia had showed up to swim and we pretty much got right to it. We went left, and I got to see the secret parking cove. We came back to the beach and did 7 “laps” in and out – each of us choosing a style. 

[Breast on back (Heidi) – I added 4 kicks to shake out my legs and even out my hips – that worked well, 10 mod/10 fast/10 release (me, courtesy of Coach Dan), 10 r arm fly/10 l arm fly/5 full stroke fly (Cooper) – I did 3 strokes, forgot one (Sam), breaststroke (Melissa), IM (Tavia). Fun!]

Those racing the next day headed out, and Sam, Melissa and I swam out to the dam and back. The way out was against some mild chop and I used the opportunity to work on my stroke. I found a possible explanation for part of last week’s problems – when I swam “fast” with no one around me in the chop, I lost the “wait” part of New New Stroke. And when I found myself doing it, it felt very similar to last weekend. It is so counterintuitive to go faster by pausing longer. But yesterday it started to really make sense (in a practical, instead of theoretical, way). When I do a long glide (with perfect body and arm position), it gives my arm/shoulder just enough chance to rest that I can pull harder each time. And I don’t get tired doing it – even though it is pretty new to me. Good news for the future of New New Stroke.

It would have been great to see my pacing on the watch, but, que sera.

It’s interesting to me how much easier it is to do the stroke properly when I am next to people – I can see myself pulling away when I do it correctly. Other people can make us so much better. And I am so grateful to get to swim with some of the very best people, inside and out. I hope I make them as much better as they make me.

We ended up with a great chat in the parking lot, and then it was time to head home. 

Great weather, great company, great things to accomplish. Some days are just perfect.

For Love of the Train

I’ve always enjoyed training more than competing. I don’t dislike competing (as witnessed by my adult willingness to pay hundreds of dollars to do it), but if you told me that one of them had to go, there would be no question in my mind which to pick. And I don’t think there’s been any time of my life when that wouldn’t have been true.

It’s fun to get up or out there and race people, to test yourself against what others can do. You learn a lot and sometimes you get to win, which I like as much (or more) than the next guy. But it just can’t compare to the day-to-day satisfaction of completing a hard workout. Or having a great OW swim with friends. There’s also no talking in racing, a severe drawback for me 🙂 

I was thinking about it as I swam yesterday, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The part that I enjoy is the part that is 95% of life. As a kid, I didn’t like the fact that I was better at training than racing. It was frustrating to see those who I routinely beat in practice climb up on the blocks and have better times than me. And it bothered me that I couldn’t nail my mental game enough to consistently race well. Knowing what an uber-distance person I am puts some perspective on that, but even if it’s just that I am total crap at it, I will now take the exchange of getting to enjoy the 95%.

Someone was just asking about my pregnancies, and I feel the same way there. I am normally a person with a reasonably high happiness set point, but, boy, did pregnancy hormones flip that switch for me. Especially the first pregnancy, with its attendant 24/7 morning sickness, and unexpected realization that I would be crying uncontrollably, and very uncharacteristically, at Sarah McLachlan commercials.

E: “Why don’t you just change the channel?” Me: “I, sob, don’t, sob, knooowwwwww!”

And when I would talk to my mom about how vomitous I felt, she repeatedly said, “Oh, I was just so happy about being pregnant that the morning sickness didn’t really bother me.” I refrained from throwing something at her, but only because she was in West Virginia and I was in California. I also refrained from shouting, “That’s not how morning sickness works! And I am happy, goddammit!” But it was a near thing. And my restraint mostly stemmed from the fact that, even as miserable as I was, I retained enough sense of humor to realize that shouting angrily about how happy you are is rarely effective.

But even with four months of nausea and crying and morning sickness that came back and the end (didn’t know that could happen) and bed rest and gaining a gazillion pounds; even at the time I realized that I would take it. My biochemistry is well-balanced 99% of the time. I had no struggles with postpartum depression. (In fact, I felt great mentally – pregnancy hormones all gone. Took me a bit to feel good physically, the first time around.) I’ve known women whose biochemistries are the opposite – they loved being pregnant, but struggled in their day-to-day lives.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m glad I am old enough to be grateful for ordinary, everyday things. They are not nearly as flashy as the glory of competition or the transformation of making a human being, but they are what life is made up of, and I plan to enjoy the crap out of them. We all struggle, but even the struggles can highlight the times that are good or comfortable or satisfying. Or just pure joy.

Thank You Friday Revival

Before the pandemic, back when I was posting more often, I would post about someone I was thankful for each Friday. Someone who had supported my Channel aspirations in large ways or small. There are so many people who have done so that I don’t want to wait until the end to thank them. So here we go.

As I continue to connect to people in the marathon swimming community (shout out, S.T.! And L.C – thanks for the birthday wishes!), I am reminded of how much I appreciated the time and knowledge people were willing to give me as I tried to figure out what the heck I was doing. This community is so generous about helping each other, and I totally get it – I will always be happy to help those who come after me. I’m at the point now where, when I have the thought, “Oh, crap, what am I going to do about X?”, I am confident that I know someone who will be able to help me out or point me in the right direction.

But it wasn’t like that in the beginning (before I knew anyone), so this week’s thanks go to Ned Dennison, who had a ridiculously long conversation with me that started out about swim camps and became a wide-ranging tutorial in the who’s and what’s of marathon swimming (oh, and his swim camp was already full, so this was purely out of the goodness of his heart), and Loretta Cox, without whose willingness to talk I might never have broken through my squirrel caging and finally booked a boat (two boats).

Thanks to them and to everyone who makes this sport better by helping anyone who needs it!

Fear Really is the Mind Killer

I wrote that last week as part of my analysis of why I didn’t step up and go with the faster swimmers when it was time. Interestingly, the moment when H pulled away was also when I suddenly had no idea where I was out there. I’m out offering that as an excuse – everyone in that race had moments where they had no idea where they were out there. But this article about the connection of fear to chronic pain only adds to the idea that “Dune” had it right and that fear can cause all kinds of physiological problems. Possibly including me slowing down when I didn’t need to.

I’ve always liked this quote from L.M. Montogomery:

“Fear is the original sin. Almost all of the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something.It is a cold slimy serpent coiling about you. It is horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading.”

Bad joke

Fish swims into a wall

Dam(n)

In honor of yet another great swim at Beaverdam

England Business (Oct 11-15)

Monday we were at the beach, and Tuesday and Wednesday I was just trying to get caught up (well, and reading Sarah Thomas’ amazing blog on Wednesday… It certainly seemed like channel prep). Thursday I spent working on my last blog post – so glad I don’t have so much to say this week. I did get some new fins on Thursday – it was OK when mine were falling off and it was just me, but I can’t let the kids beat me just cause my fins are falling off! They do plenty of kicking my ass when my equipment IS working 🙂

I finally made my way through my backlog of England emails and reminders on Friday. My mom wanted to know what I wanted for Christmas, and I had the brilliant idea that she could ship me peanut butter while we’re in England. But the nearest BJ’s is 75 miles away from them. How did I get so dependent on something? Caffeine and sugar shortages won’t bother me a bit, but peanut butter? This. Is. Serious.

Thanks to S for sharing her anti-jellyfish prep routine!

I did some more work on online school stuff.

Briefly looked at swim teams for the kids – this can wait.

I’ve received last year’s medical form to look at – everything looks OK. I’ll take it with me to the doctor’s in November to make sure there aren’t any hoops to jump through. Then back to the MD in January for the real one.

This week – find schools for the kids!

The Week at the Pool

Summary – Let’s get down to business – First (mini) Annihilation Tuesday

Pool yardage ~ 26,400

OW swim 4.63 miles (~8150 yards) in 3 incredibly pleasant hours. Water temp is not seeming important yet – probably somewhere around 76.

Total yardage ~34,600

It’s less than I did two weeks ago, but I’m just as glad that I missed Monday and there wasn’t practice Friday. Racing on Sunday and doing my first Annihilation Tuesday two days later was enough of a jump – I didn’t need to jump in yardage as well.

I’m writing this on Sunday, 10/17, and I feel good. Stretching felt really necessary after yesterday’s OW swim, but nothing felt terrible. I still had a couple of knotty ropes in the right shoulder, but the tennis ball seemed to do its job and I’ve got another stretch tomorrow morning before I swim again.

I feel ready for the week to come. Bring it on.

The Gory Details

Monday 10/11 – Theme: Beach fun (~1000)

A short (30 min) recovery swim with Varsity before coaching

Tuesday 10/12 – Theme: Suicide Kamikaze hari-kari fatal wasted Annihilation Tuesdays (~9400)

There are a lot of things we can’t name these days in 2021. But all for the best, as “Annihilation Tuesdays” really captures it.

Practice 1 Theme: a la la la la long a la la la la long long li long long long

100 w-up (supposed to be 500)

400 IM kick/scull/drill/swim

8×50 breathe 2/1 odd and evens are fast (37/36 w/new new stroke)

Something I can’t remember

• 800
• 2×400
• 200 ez 4:00
• 600
• 2×300
• 200 ez 4:00
• 400
• 2×200
• 200 ez 4:00

Paced the longs, shorts were negative split/fast. Held 1:16/1:15 pace on fast with new new stroke. Intervals were 1:25 base (thank god after STL on Sunday)

1000 for time off the blocks (I went to the bathroom and got in about 800

*** Macon’s note from this practice – hold the stroke a little longer. (This is especially impt against the current in the chop.)

Practice 2 Theme – FOOOOT CRAMMMMPS!

200 swim/kick

Breaststroke set

5×100 r arm / l arm/ swim

IM’s off blocks

Relays

400 cool down

Other stuff too – it’s late and I don’t remember.

Wednesday 10/13 Theme: Bescher’s Back (~6300)

1700 w-up

4x (4×100 on 1:25, 100 ez on 2:00) kicks off walls: 4,5,6,7 (I sort of did this)

5×200 w/fins: 25 underwater/25 overkick/50 DPS / 50 drill / 50 all out

200 ez

2×500 free kick w/board every 4th fast

400 cd

Nothing was hard… it just felt it after yesterday

Thursday 10/14 Theme: Now THAT’S 7500 yards I can get behind (7500)

i.e., 7500 that does not leave me feeling like death on a triscuit 

1700 w-up

6x (500 free, 400 IM – both on 6:40)

300 cool down

2 random 50’s brings it to 7500

I held 6:30’s (1:18s) on the 500 free’s. My stroke count was up, but after 9400 on Tuesday and 6300 yesterday, I had trouble feeling too bad about that.

No practice tomorrow – maybe a loosen at noon.

Friday 10/15 Happy Birthday to me 🙂

Theme: No Practice (~2200)

Loosen workout with Masters Dan

300 w-up

3×100 build to release (great for a recovery day)

6×100 one arm, swim, other arm, swim (3 back, 3 free)

150 easy swim down, run back

150 run down, fast/easy back

150 run down, fast back, 10 seconds rest

6×50 fly kick and recovery (tested out the new fins)

200 cd