The Tale of the Loop that Wasn’t

This post does include my race report for Swim the Loop 2021 – skip down if my other musings do not entertain you 🙂

Joke of the Week

I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.

Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

[Weirdly, I can’t think of a single swimming dream I’ve ever had.]

Swim Like a Girl

I’m not looking to start any fights, but as someone who participates in a lot of male-dominated sports and hangs out with a lot of guys, I found this quiz (and attendant scientific results) really interesting: predict your gender

The most interesting thing about the study, to me, was the lack of predictive ability of ANY one trait, including, for instance, the amount of time spent thinking about sex. Of the 600 traits they looked at, only these 18 showed statistical difference, and even the most different of them still would leave you basically guessing someone’s gender. Taking all 18 answers together allows for 80% reliability in prediction. Not bad, but hardly a mortal lock, when you are getting one of five wrong.

So according to this study, men and women are demonstrably different (at least in the way we answer questions), but not that different, in the end.

(If you are going to take the survey yourself, you should do it before reading the next bit.)

Thoughts on my (Alleged) Personality

For anyone curious, I did predict as female, with 71% confidence. I thought that the most interesting thing about my results was that I was not near the average (male or female) for most of the traits measured. I thought that the most interesting thing about the traits was that the three people who I know who took the survey (including myself) were able to predict with 100% accuracy which traits trended male and which trended female.

Here are the traits they measure (with two questions apiece determining your score on each one). This is all self-reported, btw, so take that into account for everything:

Warm – I am all the warms. Interestingly the questions were whether you laugh out loud (I do. A lot.) and whether you show your feelings when you are happy (same). These don’t strike me as things that necessarily make for a super warm person, but it put me all the way at the end of the scale.

Unusual – shockingly (not), I self-report as exceedingly unusual. The average for men (higher than women) was at 0; I was at 3

Unselfish – I was higher than average on this one as well. I definitely think that I might have answered “I look out for myself before I look out for others” very differently before I had kids.

Thick Skinned – I don’t think I had this one right. I DON’T usually feel bad if people don’t take my feelings into account, but I DO worry about what people say to me – that question was something about whether what people say “hurts” you. If they had asked if it looped on repeat in my head when awake at 3 in the morning, that would have nailed it.

Self-valuing – I’m pretty self valuing. But I mean, come one, brains, beauty, AND the best blog that 10 people read?

Self-defending – I am below average for both men and women for thinking things are not my fault (i.e., I tend to think things are my fault more than most people). I have a very internal locus of control (for better or worse). But I wasn’t too far from the female average on this one.

Risk taking – significantly above average risk taker. I think this one must vary a lot according to the area of risk taking you are talking about. I see myself as taking calculated risks in areas where there is a potential for benefit. But what qualifies as a risk? Some people find driving at night risky. Some people think OW swimming is risky. I don’t find those risky. But I’m overly cautious on flip turns. And we can talk about physical risk, monetary risk, emotional risk, intellectual risk, social risk. I would image that people vary widely (both men and women) on their risk tolerances in different areas.

Peaceful – I’m hella peaceful. I find it very hard to walk a mile in a violent man’s shoes (or woman’s). Of course, I’m bad at violence and good at talking and thinking… so it makes sense that that’s the way I would choose to solve problems. (I am surprised there wasn’t more of a difference between men and women on this one.)

Improvisational – I’m close to average on this one. I feel like I am sometimes a very good improviser and sometimes a very bad improviser.

Honest – I thought the questions for this one were interesting “I couldn’t deceive anyone, even if I wanted to.” “I try hard to avoid lying, even about the smallest things.” I felt like the statements were directed at desires for lying instead of actual actions of lying. I’m generally honest in action, but not incapable of lying.

Forgiving – I am apparently very forgiving… BUT the questions were both about revenge. I never want revenge (I know, weird, right?) but I will TOTALLY harbor resentment. Not vengeful. But maybe not forgiving either.

Emotionally aware – less than average, but close to males. I would personally express it as Pro-logic 🙂

Complexity seeking – at least as self-reported, much more complexity seeking than average. Men and women averages were quite close on this one, interestingly.

Compassionate – Very, very incompassionate. I’m sorry, if I see an animal caught in a trap, I assume it is there for a good reason. (I am somewhat kidding there; please don’t call PETA! I am thinking mice, not household pets.)

At Ease – I’m quite at ease. Which basically boils down to not being a worrier.

Amicable – I’m not “amicable” because I like to debate with people and will contradict others. Well, sometimes people are wrong, you see.

Aesthetic – less aesthetic. I’d like to be involved with art and music. I’m not at the moment.

Fun. After learning about the Replication Crisis relatively recently, and always having had a huge suspicion of surveys (they never offer answer choices that REALLY express my thoughts), I definitely take anything like this with a huge grain of salt. And of course, we’ve all watched other people self-analyze in ways that we think are dead wrong – Sometime we are the least perceptive judges of ourselves. But that doesn’t me we can’t have a good time thinking about ourselves, each other, and how we relate to the world.

Forgiveness

Being scored as very forgiving got me thinking about the first person I ever told about my serious intent to swim the English Channel. They responded by saying, “I hope you like jellyfish.” I’m not sure I will ever forgive that. It’s not that they were wrong… they just could have given any other initial reaction. As so many have since then. Thanks, supportive peeps!

This was more than a decade ago, so I’m taking 2 points from my forgiveness score 🙂

The Tale of the Loop that Wasn’t

[This tale is not so much in narrative form this time around. As I write more, I am learning that the strategy of vomiting thoughts onto my computer and then trying to cobble them into something coherent is not a good one for me personally.]

Well, that was an interesting race. I have two general takes on it:

1. I didn’t feel like I swam to my potential, but I learned a lot.
2. I didn’t swim well and I don’t know why.

I see those as an optimistic and pessimistic side of the same coin, and I’m determined to mine the choppy channel of muck for the gold nuggets that will carry me forward. No need to read the next sections if you are not interested in my endless self-analysis – this part is for me. Statement number 1 is my answer to how the race went.

What Happened to the Loop?

Saturday afternoon, I was doing a loosen swim outside Blockade Runner when I learned that I’d be doing a very different race than expected on Sunday. E yelled down from shore that it was now an out and back to Blockade Runner. So a (mostly) different course and 2.6 miles instead of 3.5. I came back to this email:

Swimmers, We just wanted to inform you that the wind forecast has increased for Sunday morning as this tropical system continues to stay stationary off our coastline.  Water conditions will be choppy with higher current levels in the channel.  There are also boat advisories now in effect.  The US Coast Guard will not support the entire loop swim event so therefore we are making a course change for the full Swim the Loop event. The FULL Swim the Loop will turn into an OUT and BACK.  Both Swim the Loop and Mott’s Channel Sprint will start at 9:00am.

My initial reaction? “Well, sh**.” Closely followed by, “Well, such is open water swimming – I’ll give it a go and have some fun anyway.”

Swim the Line

In the end, It wasn’t the race that I had been planning on, and I didn’t swim it particularly well. But I definitely learned lessons, and I’m so ready to start training exclusively for the Channel. I’m especially excited about the fact that there is really no reason to go fast much now. Swimming a stroke that I can hold for 12 hours is my absolute specialty – I only had to wait through 38 years of competitive swimming for it to finally be applicable to my training.

I was really grateful that one of the first things H said when I got out was, “that was really tough.” It was a really weird race – current pushing one way, wind the other. Going out against the current was hard, but coming back against the wind was just as hard (if shorter, with the current) for me. But I did wonder if it was just me!

I’ve had races where I didn’t feel like I swam to my potential before, but this is one of the only times that I have not known why. I noticed several times that I wasn’t even breathing hard… but I failed to really pick it up. 

What I wrote right after the race: “Blah. Today was a crap ton of things I’m not particularly good at. Wind and current going the opposite direction, having to take it out against a push, not knowing where the hell I am going, and things being very different than what I expected.

However, those are all things I need to work on for the Channel, so it was a good training day – just not a good racing day. The biggest mystery (to me) is why, when H pulled away, I did not go with her. Nothing seemed to by physically stopping me. The conditions were not kind to my shoulder, and I was protecting it, but I don’t think that was it. If I can solve this mystery, I sense an opportunity to advance my abilities.”

So What are the Takeaways?

The Bad

• I am not the greatest at adjusting my mentality quickly. For instance, I could have spent some time at the hotel on Saturday evening reviewing the new course with as much detail as I had the old course… but I didn’t. Next time, jump on board quickly.
• I spent a lot of time on the way out promising myself an easy ride back (and planning to catch people then). Having a good attitude about future conditions is good (thanks for pointing that out, Sarah!), but setting myself up for an unrealistic second half was not – the letdown trumped the mental advantage. Next time, and especially in the Channel, swim the conditions I’m in and don’t worry about it.
• Continue practicing “new stroke” in the chop. And at faster paces – I may have to sprint into France. I’ve done a great job at making my stroke more efficient, now I can work on efficient and fast. Macon took a look on Monday – his comment about holding onto the water longer will definitely help with this. (Also, give myself some grace – I only trained 3 weeks plus a mini-taper week for this.)
• Don’t be afraid to push myself harder. Next time – go with H (or whoever). Fear is the mind killer.

The Good

• No more sighting or worrying about race buoys that are too far apart – I’ll be beside my very own boat (OK, Paul Foreman’s very own boat) in the Channel.
• I WAS happy with the way I kept bringing my stroke together, over and over again. Conditions in the channel may be rough (much, much rougher than this) and if so, that ability to re-focus, like, a gazillion times, will come in handy. 
• I also like that I did not mentally give up. After realizing that the way back was going to feel worse (if shorter) than the way out, I put my head down and got down to business.

Random Thoughts I Wrote Down

Another participant encapsulated the race perfectly – “That was hard all the time.” Every single time I found a rhythm, something else happened and it fell apart. (Don’t forget the near collisions with people swimming on the wrong side. And not much blame to them – buoys were very hard to see. I had to be redirected once myself, and I’ve swum in this water often.)

And if I only got beat by H (and A in a wetsuit), that was a pretty damn good day.

You know, as I write about it – I BELIEVED that I could win Swim the Loop. I never believed that I could win the altered course. Maybe that’s where it came apart for me. I’m not much on mental game, but I don’t deny it exists.

I also maybe shouldn’t have spent any time resenting the 20ish minutes I spent obsessively google earthing Lee’s Cut to make sure I could follow the most efficient path. But I’m only human 🙂

Does it bug me there’s no wetsuit division? Yes it does. Does it matter? No, no it does not. But the language used in the email and on race morning “we will not penalize you for NOT wearing a wetsuit – that was just bizarre.

After the race I was a little sore in my lats, a little sore in my neck. But really, if that’s the worst I came away from that crazy swim with (I know it’s less crazy than the channel can be) then maybe I should be pretty happy about the fact that I just swam a little slower than I wanted to. I protected my shoulder, and I kept getting my stroke back together. And I DIDN’T feel tired – a minus for yesterday, but a plus for the future.

It really was weird – I kept noticing that I wasn’t that tired. And then I was like, “swim faster!” And my body was like, “yeah, no.”

Perspective

After reading 4-way English Channel swimmer Sarah Thomas’ blog (https://sarahthomasswims.com/2021/10/06/the-most-un-fun-swim-of-all/), I feel really good about my response to this swim (coming out of the water already thinking about how much I had learned). I am not anywhere close to being in Sarah’s class (nor do I have plans to be), but it encourages me that we analyze our swims in some of the same ways.

Her blog post wondered aloud about the reasons that those of us who do this, do this. I posted a response:

“Hi Sarah! Amazing tale. I got my start in open water swimming in Aquatic Park, and love the Monterey Bay Aquarium – it never occurred to me to swim there though 🙂 I’ve been asking the same question about perseverance as I prepare for my English Channel attempt this summer. I think that part of it comes from a combination of being able to dream big but execute small. In addition to a certain amount of stubbornness that at least my mother would say was innate. I think that is a somewhat rare combination – the moxie to think we can accomplish these insane things, but also the willingness to deal with the fiddly details that go into the planning and training. And the enthusiasm for learning from each experience. And I think that just flat out loving it out there helps. A League of Their Own gets it: “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.”

The Weekend

In addition to my swim, the kids had a swim meet in Wilmington on Saturday and Sunday and the day off from school on Monday, so we made a long weekend of it. It was great to get to watch the first day of the kids’ meet as an on-deck coach. They swam really well and watching them (and all of their teammates) up close and in person again was a lot of fun. My younger one sustained a mild injury at the end of the first day and didn’t swim his 100 free. Hopefully a lesson learned about running around on a slippery pool deck at a meet. (Also the perils of never cutting your toenails.)

• 

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My comment in my notes that night was, “Fun was had, but I’m gonna need some sleep before I can appreciate it.” After they were done, we snagged some lunch and ate it at BR, where I got in my loosen swim. Then we headed over to pick up my race packet (and talk to a million people). Then, dinner at the Lazy Pirate in Carolina Beach. I couldn’t understand why the team dinner was so far away… until we got there and saw the gigantic volleyball courts all the kids could play on. A long day (I didn’t even mention we were awakened at 5 AM by a lightning strike 300 feet away from our house), but a good time had by all (if somewhat reluctantly on the teenager’s part).

Sunday morning we competed; Sunday afternoon we rested. Then the beach, dinner, and putt putt.

A great weekend overall – I’m really glad we stayed over Monday for more beach (quote A: “I LOVE riding the waves!!!”) and go karts. We had a great time with the kids.

My Attempts to Prove to You that I have Not Gone Crazy… While Exposing the Crazy

So, I did a crazy thing.

Readers of this blog (all 8 of them) will probably know who I am talking about if I say that there’s someone I’ve been thinking of as my open water “white whale.” (Come to think of it, of course my white whale is open water – no whales on land.) Yesterday, I took that joking status to the beginnings of Moby Dick obsession level when I looked up all of our past races and calculated how much she beat me by.

Here’s the thing that makes me less crazy than that makes me seem – Do I like winning? Yes I do. But I have only really ever cared deeply about my races against myself and my times. However, in open water races, you can’t use your times to measure improvement (i.e., why so many of us former swimmers embrace a type of swimming that does not lead to invidious comparisons to our past selves). Conditions can vary so widely that your pace can change by 30 seconds per 100 in either direction.

That leaves my white whale (and others) as a basis of comparison. To be clear, that’s not a great way to determine performance either, since a white whale can have an off day (though IMO, my personal white whale is made of steel). But it is still quite relative. For instance, if Ashley Twichell shows up to race (which she has), none of the rest of us amateurs will be topping the podium.

Anyway, the happy end result is that (aside from wasting some time figuring it out), I learned that I am getting closer:

• June 2008 – Had baby
• Feb 2009 – Moved to NC
• 6/7/2009 – 7.8%
• March 2012 – Had baby
• 5/11/2013 – 11.6%
• 7/21/2013 – 11.25%
• 9/14/2013 – 7.2%
• 5/10/2014 – 11.1%
• 5/10/2015 – 9.0%
• 10/15/2017 – 10.8%
• Oct 2017 STL – 9.8%
• 5/8/2021 – 5.3%
• 10/10/2021 – 4.9%

Obviously, there is enough variation (and little enough data) that drawing any conclusions is a bit of a fool’s errand. (Also, math errors are very possible here). But I had fun doing it. Judge me if you must 🙂

England Business (October 4-8)

I didn’t get much done on Monday or Tuesday. I did spend an hour making templates for the Masters monthly awards. Good use of time, or procrastination? Who’s to say?

On Wednesday, I figured out a bunch of homeschool stuff. And I emailed the chair of the math department at CHS to figure out which math J should take next year. I followed up on S’s contact for online school information.

And then lists, lists, lists – but things are finally coming into focus. AND I have an excuse to buy a gigantic pad of paper and fun markers (or get them for my birthday).

Thursday and Friday were very England-productive. I feel much better now. M says that Bournemouth is very bikeable – good news on the trying-not-to-lease-a-car front. I initiated contact with the head of a kids swim team there. And I had an awesome talk with another M about online schools – she used Time 4 Learning last year and then had kids re-enroll in Wake County schools – I will plan to follow her model.

I finally got the BCP (Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole Council) to admit that although the law requires that state (public) schools accept applications from foreign nationals, they schools will not take kids whose parents are on tourist visas. Fair enough, but somebody tell me the answer! So next week I’ll look into independent (private) schools in Bournemouth).

Friday’s main accomplishment was a talk with Mr. B (math). He was very balanced in his presentation of the Math 2 vs. Math 3 options. In the end, I think he summed it up best with “if you are looking for the safe option, it is Math 2 Honors as a freshman.” I won’t go through it point by point, but if anyone is interested, the workload is a huge jump for these kids, and they are asked to display the academic independence of Juniors as Freshmen. We’ll continue to talk about it, but Mr. B doesn’t see any downsides, other than potential boredom.

The Week at the Pool

Summary  – Taper Week

Pool Yardage ~ 18,700

OW Yardage ~ 6,000 (4,500 racing)

Taper week – yay!

I started the week off light, since we had to clear the pool for lightning about halfway through Monday’s practice. It seemed like a great way to start my taper, especially after the mental effort of a lesson with JP right before practice. I’m really looking forward to working on “New, NEW Stroke” after the race.

The groups were tapering as well on Thursday and Friday for a weekend meet. Lot’s of turn work and some dives. Not exactly an open-water taper, but probably one that signals to my body that I’ll be swimming fast soon 🙂

I ended the week feeling tentatively ready to race Swim the Loop. It was pretty amazing how much more energy I had outside the pool this week. 

The Gory Details

Monday 10/4 – Theme: Lightning and the thunder (~2600)

50 swim (supposed to be a 200 – I got in late)

200 kick (I swam some of it – I got in late)

200 pull (I just swam)

12×75 w/fins – Odd: streamline kick on back; Even – 25 L drill, 50 back build (last 12.5 spin drill)

6×50 back on :45 with great u/w’s

3x: (4×25 Tarzan long arms :30; 6×25 kick driven :20) – This went really well, working on the new new stroke I developed in the lesson w/JP today

200 ez

And then it thundered. Which my mildly tapering self didn’t mind in the least. Especially after the mental effort of a great lesson with JP

Takeaways for “New new stroke” – 

• Kick same side
• Hips up (abs tight)
• Arm in
• Wait
• Add-on from Macon – hold water

Tuesday 10/5 – Theme: Macon likes a versatile swimmer. I am not currently that swimmer. (~5100)

400 w/fins – 200 swim/200 kick. Matt took this out at an incredibly fast pace. So I went with – gotta practice for the first part of the Channel where my “warm up for 45 minutes” apparently won’t cut it.

400 IM – 50 kick, 25 drill, 25 build to a great transition turn (I am starting to think my crossover turn just might be legal sometimes

12×50 – Odd – free (1 breath down, 2 breaths back); Even – IM order (even stroke count)

3x(2×150 bk/br/fr; 6×25 fly (I did free working on JP’s techniques); 100 on 1:30)

100 ez

8×100 free with paddles on 2:00 – 50 kick on side; 25 1-arm; 25 drive with legs

6x(150 kick on side 2:50; 100 increase effort 1:25; 50 ez 1:00) – I did 3 rounds, bringing me to 4800

300 CD

Wednesday 10/6 – Theme: Coach John takes the reins… and I am glad to be tapering (~5000)

The full workout as written was 7700. I left after 5000, so I don’t know if they finished.

400 IM kick/r arm/l arm/swim

1×200 kick/swim best non-free stroke 3:40

2×200 best non-free stroke just make it 3:20

3×200 IM 3:00

4×200 pull (I swam) 2:40

5×200 swim 2:30 – I made them, but not as easily as I planned. My stroke fell apart and I couldn’t get it back together for love or money

150 ez

400 IM 6:40

500 free 

2×300 IM

100 float (I used everything from the 400 IM forward as a long cool down. Missed a couple of 50s getting lapped)

Thursday 10/7 – Theme: Turn, turn, turn (~? about 3000)

150 loosen on my own (this was helpful)

400 swim/kick (dolphin on back, hands at sides)

4×100 9/9, 7/7, 5/5, 3/3 (breaths allowed/breathe every x strokes)

100 ez

16×25 – 8 fins, 8 w/o. Well kicks, well kicks to fast tempo, fast u/w to halfway, fast u/w to 15 meters 

100 ez

Turn work

14×50’s turns

Turn relays

Open turn work

300 CD

Friday 10/8 – Theme: Taper time (The kids are racing this weekend as well… in the pool) (~? More than 3000)

400 swim/kick on side

3×100 breath control

6×50 breath control

8×25 working streamlines/underwaters (I like zooming off the wall then floating)

7×50 Golf (I was holding 11-12 strokes per lap holding :37s – sweet!

300

200

100

Other things

Turns

Dives (I determined that I don’t want to swim for 2 hours with goggles tight enough to stay on when I dive off the dock on Sunday, so I’ll jump. Jumping went well.

600 Cool down

I worked all practice long on New stroke (saving New New stroke for next week) and visualizing myself out there. I’m feeling tentatively ready.