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Your English Channel Questions, Answered

As I said a couple of posts ago, in the process of saying goodbye to America, I quite naturally got a lot of questions about the details of attempting an English Channel swim. Over here on the isle, many more people (and especially swimmers) are pretty familiar with how it works. But back in the States, it is only a somewhat-known undertaking. Here are the questions I got, and the answers I have:

“How many people are doing the race?”

The Channel is not your typical open water swim. You are swimming through the busiest shipping channel in the world – any swimmer wishing to attempt it must be escorted by their own boat. There are thirteen boats that escort swimmers (one at a time) across the channel, captained by very experienced pilots. To get a slot, you usually must book about 2 years in advance. On a good day to swim, several of these boats may go, but it is unlikely that you will see another swimmer out there.

“How cold is the water?”

About 60 degrees Fahrenheit, 16 degrees Celsius. For most people, this feels quite cold. Hypothermia is a significant risk.

“You’ll wear a wetsuit, right?”

That’s a no. To be an official channel swimmer, you are only allowed a swim suit (swim costume 🙂 ), cap and goggles (and a light stick, so they can see you at night). Oh, and earplugs if you want them. That’s how Captain Webb pioneered it in 1875. (Although at least my suit won’t be made of wool.)

“How far is it?”

About 21 miles as the crow flies. I do not swim as straight as a crow flies.

“How long will it take?”

Good question! 10 hours would be amazingly great. 17 hours is not inconceivable, depending on conditions. If I had any expectations at all, it would be about 12 or 13.

“When are you doing it?”

I don’t know. 

No, I haven’t gone crazy. When you book your boat to swim the Channel (I booked in April of 2019), you sign up for “slot” during a “window” of time. My window is July 12-19, and I have the second slot (I was first slot for my original dates last summer. Stupid Covid.). So on the first day during that window that the pilot judges that a crossing can be made, he’ll offer it to the Slot 1 swimmer. Should they turn it down, I’d have a chance at it, but why would they? Once that swimmer has done their swim, the next passable day is mine. 

You never know when you’re going to go, and I think you get about 24 hours notice at best. You leave from Dover, England, and they call this process of waiting to swim the “Dovercoaster.” As you can imagine, there are a lot of ups and downs. Oh yeah, and did I mention that you could be starting your swim at any hour of the day or night? So yeah, I don’t know, I just hope the weather gods are kind. (My pilot did say that since I’m in England, it should be possible to get me across another time if my window is full of bad weather.) I know a woman who trained, flew to England, and never got to go last year. Ugh.

“Are there sharks?”

If there are, they don’t bother us. It’s jellyfish that are the problem.

“Is it hard?”

Fewer people have crossed the Channel than have summited Everest – only a bit over 2000 in all of history. There are some, marathon swimmers I expect, who call it the hardest endurance challenge in sports 🙂

“What/How will you eat?” How long will you stop to eat and rest?”

So I mentioned the pilot – also on the boat will be his copilot, an observer to certify the swim, and my crew. My crew will lower a pole down with a cage on the end that I will grab my food/drink from. I really, really like to prioritize eating, but the Channel is brutal, and swimmers are advised to keep their feeds as short as possible. (I’ve heard that the current men’s world record holder kept his feeds to no more than 30 seconds all the way across.) A dietician I worked with put it best, I thought (and you’ll have to imagine the Australian accent), “It is not a floating buffet out there.”

When I did my 6-hour qualifying swim in December, I drank Nesquik pre-made chocolate milk every 45 minutes and it worked fantastically. I felt great during the swim, and wasn’t even particularly hungry when I got out. Plus it tastes good and makes me happy. My mom is shipping some over as we speak 🙂

So, no stopping, no resting, and possibly a stream of fake chocolate milk to carry me across.

I’m looking for crew, if spending 17 hours seasick on a boat feeding me chocolate milk and jelly babies appeals to you!

“How long will you stay in France? Will you bring your passport?”

You basically have to swim right back into the ocean and get back in the boat. Sometimes you can’t even climb out and have to just touch a rock face to signal the end of your swim (My visualization is a beach, but I’ll take what I can get.) I’ll have to take the Chunnel if I want a crepe. But yes, you do need to have your passport in the boat.

“What stroke will you swim?”

Since I am doing a freestyle swim, I can swim anything I like. The vast majority will be “front crawl” as they call it over here, but I’ll likely do some backstroke and breaststroke from time to time to get stretched out a bit. Someone has done it butterfly. That means never, ever taking a one-arm stroke, even while getting stopped and started during feeds.

“So, it’s like the whole way? In one go?”

Yep. And honestly, you don’t really want to be stopping. Stopping is when the cold can get to you.

“Why are you doing this? How long have you wanted to do it?”

Um, doesn’t it sounds like fun? I’ve wanted to do it ever since I heard it was possible – around age 8, I think. I am going to step off of England and swim to another country – it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I can’t wait.

Any other questions? Comment below.

Living Light

I thought people might be interested in some of the details of how we are living here (and this will also let me look back and combat any rose-tinted nostalgia 🙂

We brought with us one suitcase, one carry-on, and one personal item each. These contained our regular clothes and travel items, as well as fitting in my swim stuff (considerable, and I was happy to bring fewer clothes to fit more swim stuff), plus sheets and blankets so that we wouldn’t have to find those our first day before we could sleep. (And electronics of course – I think the kids’ suitcases were half electronic.)

Pretty much anything we buy here we will just have to get rid of again in a few months, unless it is something worth paying to ship to the States. So we are trying to live as sparsely as possible, while still functioning.

Probably the most intensive thing to outfit has been the kitchen. The flat is furnished, but did not come with ANY pots, pans, dishes, etc. I’m actually pretty pleased with how we’ve managed to work it out and how well we are getting by so far (hopefully the credit card bill will back me up on that). I was really glad I had thrown in a washcloth and kitchen towel from home – another example of things it was nice to own right off.

So here is the entirety of our kitchen supply (as well as the entirety of our kitchen, I suppose):

And here are the meals we’ve managed to make:

Dinner 1: Ham, noodles, and peas

Dinner 2: The aforementioned tragic pierogies, bacon and broccoli

Dinner 3: Spaghetti and salad

Dinner 4: Shrimp, fettuccini (well, linguini – what’s up, Britain? Fettuccini is the bomb) and green beans

Dinner 5: Salad, fish and baked potato

Dinner 6: Shepherds pie (OK, this was phoning it in a bit, as I just picked it up from the refrigerated section and cooked it in the oven. But it was delicious and could be made with the utensils on hand. And I definitely saw at least one carrot in there 🙂

So, we’ll just repeat those for the next 20 weeks

A word on the wonder that is the British Baking Potato

I came up with the idea of doing baked potatoes because we only have one pan and one pot and baked potatoes require neither. I’ve never had a lot of success with baked potatoes in my life, which is weird because I’m a decent cook and how hard is it to bake a potato? So when I went to the store, I was hoping they would have something reasonable. A week of trying to translate American into British in the meals department left that up in the air.

But oh how wrong I was to doubt. As I walked into the produce section, I saw huge, beautiful, enticing “British Baking Potatoes.” Well, no decision making there – the potatoes themselves were instructing me to bake them.

I actually handed off the job to E, due to my previous failures and also cause I needed to go buy a bike helmet. He, of course, googled it, and cooked four of the tastiest potatoes I have ever eaten (helped along by British Butter, salt and pepper and British soured cream (boy does this country get cream right, in all its forms). I have finally found something that can be made perfectly in England. I’m sure there’s more out there – if I can but find it. If only I liked tea more.

A Weekend in Bath

To get away from the drudgery (ha) of the beach life, we took a short holiday to Bath. Several friends and acquaintances had said it was can’t-miss, and boy were they right. It is one of the most visually appealing places I’ve ever seen, and it is pretty everywhere.

We started our Saturday quite early, and we got to ride on the 2nd tier of a bus for the first time. J and I spent a fair bit of time discussing what the difference in sway might be from the bottom floor to the top floor based on, you know, physics. Experiments to test were discussed, but not carried out.

I could have taken a million pictures of picturesque England, but I think that, even restraining myself, you’ll find there are plenty. If not, just imagine miles and miles and miles (kilometers) more of the same delightful quaintness.

We “alighted” from the bus in Salisbury and caught the train to Bath. Then, I had my first British train bathroom experience.

The Tale of the Train Bathroom

I couldn’t tell you why (other than two weeks of experience with not knowing how anything works), but as I approached the bathroom, I felt nameless trepidation. I girded myself for another round of “English things I don’t know how to do.” But when I walked up to the bathroom, the posted sign said, “Use the Buttons.” And there was a big, lighted button that said, “Open.” So I pressed it.

And opened the door on a women who was in the middle of using the bathroom. The door was huge, and the entire train car (whose heads shot up when I gasped, “I’m so sorry!”) had a very clear view. The bathroom was large, and the buttons were by the door – the woman had no way to close the doors herself. I fought down panic, summoned my inner Brit, and was able to Keep Calm and find the Close button inside. I had to reach through the door, press it, and sneak my arm out before the doors closed on it. Call me James Bond.

Except that James Bond is rarely left standing there, still needing to pee, with a train car full of people who know they are all still 20 feet from a woman who they have seen in flagrante delicto with a toilet. And who will (unavoidably, at some point) be coming out to look us all in the eye. We handled it with English sensibility, eyes averted. I discussed our trip to Bath with the closest person, and without words we agreed that it had never happened. (Although as I went in, two women said, “Make sure you turn the lock!”)

Deep Thoughts

There’s something about being in a moving vehicle that makes me wax philosophical. Most of my car musings are lost to the fact that I don’t remember them by the time I’m out from behind the wheel, but now that public transport is my modus operandi, I can capture whatever I like. 

Traveling through the English countryside, I thought about how much the world is different but the same. Humans are humans, but with a million different ways of achieving their desires and solving the problems of being human. (Namely, how do I get what I want with the resources I have.) Of course, figuring out what we want in the first place is a separate problem.

The Deets

We started the day with brunch at Sally Lunns Buns, which was just as good as we had been told. J found an affinity for tea… or perhaps for sugar and milk.

Next up was the Abbey – very cool, and very visually impressive.

Then we hit the Roman baths – most impressively old. It’s hard to overstate, or be reminded too many times of how amazing the Romans were. What they accomplished 2000 years ago is still impressive today. The extremely extensive audio tour options were tough on a completist. But I really liked the subtlety of the storytelling with wordless videos throughout. One of the things I love about the British is their confidence that they don’t need to hit you over the head with something.

Hilariously, we went back to the 500-year-old Abbey so that we could get on our phones and book dinner reservations (Bath is amazing, but data and wifi are very, very not its strong points.) TripAdvisor and some other site both recommended a place with Nepali food, and with a name like “Yak Yeti Yak,” how could we resist? My lamb dish (Lamb Tamor?) was amazing.

Wandering Around Bath

From there we got the kids “dessert” – the only place we found open was a candy shop selling, among other things, medium-sized bags of cheetos for £8. But they got some candy and we managed to keep them from staving to death until morning.

Then it was off to catch the bus over to our B&B – I had some lodging doubts (lodged lodging doubts?) based on the online pics, but Garstoncottage in Bathford was perfect. The most reasonably-priced place we could find, it was in the most picturesque village imaginable, an enjoyable bus ride from Bath, with an awesome full English breakfast included. And it did turn out to have bunk beds, not just a double and a twin. (Which even optimistic Laura admits would have been tight.)

After breakfast, we hopped back on the bus. J realized that we could ride at the very front of the top floor of the bus. This was a tremendous, life-changing innovation. It’s like being able to drive, but without having to drive.

We took the bus over to the Circus, and then walked over to the Crescent and went through its museum. It’s a house on the Crescent with period Georgian furnishings, etc. I was getting a little tired of paying for things by this point, but it was a lot of fun to go through. And how cool would it be to own one of those houses? (5 million pounds cool, says British Zillow). The museum’s shtick of following a typical family had pluses and minuses. I always love seeing how people lived, but could have done with far less exposition on their fictional personal relationships. But all in all, a thumbs up.

Then we walked through a bit of the park over to the boat tour. Lovely, and as E said, nice to sit down. Learned that they call a dam a weir. And that there are otters, though we didn’t see them. The boat pilot, like most of the people we’ve had in charge of tours or transportation, was very interesting and funny. And our train guy (Steve) on the way to Bath was what I’d call a hoot if I weren’t try to sound cool.

We picked up some pasties (the steak and stilton was a bit of a let-down) and listened to an amazing musician in the town square while we ate. He did all the sound himself (with only a guitar for an instrument) and layered everything until by the end he had a symphony (well, a rock symphony) of him. Very impressive.

J picked up a Queen Lizzy bobble head and we got some Sally Lunns buns to go. Then we were off to the bathroom and the train station, where our train had been cancelled. Can I share an observation from when we were waiting for the next train? My observation is this – There is simply nothing else that you can confuse with being pooped on by a bird. 

There is an immediate realization, followed by a confirming sensation that simply couldn’t be anything else.

National Differences

I delight in the differences between countries and cultures, big and small. No difference is too minuscule to interest me.

This week, I was struck by two pieces of minutia:

1. Toilet paper – In last week’s post, I quoted British national Douglas Adams, whose view was that British sandwiches were punishment for unidentified national sins. After two tries, I’m tentatively adding toilet paper to that list. Why else would the choices be either 1) uncomfortably abrasive or 2) practically transparent? English friends, help me out here – what should I be buying? Or is comfortable toilet paper why Americans are so soft? Is this some sort of personal improvement regimen?

1. British dogs, at least those in Bournemouth, seem so much better behaved than their American counterparts. Don’t know what’s up there. Comment if you do.

Journal

3/21

OK, I’m about ready to stop feeling like crap. Ugh, and like I know nothing. This morning’s first experience with reverse circle-swimming did not help. I think I had one rep where I got my feet on the wall every time. Didn’t help there were 7 people in my lane. You can see this morning’s swim under “The Week at the Pool.”

3/22

Why, oh why, Bournemouth, do you have TWO DIFFERENT BUS COMPANIES?!?!? Honestly, who thought this was a good idea? On the bright side, my bus skills have ramped up markedly. I haven’t had any outright misses in the last 3 days, and the only time I had to wait 25 extra minutes, it was because I checked the wrong bus company’s app first, and by the time I had found the correct timetable on the other one, it was, like, a minute too late to run for it.

But all in all, a win.

I felt 100% better in the water today. Not at 100%, mind you, but not like I’d been repeatedly punched before climbing into pudding and trying to swim.

It was a nice run over to the gym. It took me about 30 minutes, including a bit of a fight with Apple Maps when it went briefly insane. I got there 15 minutes late, but I can definitely get that run time down in order to garner more sleep. Also! A swimmer who is about my speed turns out to live in my building. She rides over and has offered to train me in the ways of left-side riding, should I be able to procure a bike for myself.

After I typed that, I think I solved a lot of our transportation questions. J can walk to school – it should be less than 20 minutes, and with a sea view 🙂 A can take a super convenient bus, with a bit of walking on each end. I can use the bike share (suggested by my fellow swimmer – thanks N!) – there are convenient stations here by the flat (well, “convenient” – I have to walk down a steep hill to get it and then, you guessed it, bike back up that steep hill first thing) and at the gym, and it’s perfect for getting point to point on the beach for training. Obviously, it costs money, but it gives me a way to try it out and see if I like it, possibly meaning that I don’t need to buy a bike and then figure out where to put it.

So, potentially yay.

We canna control it!

I was tickled today…

My email to the property manager:

Hi T!

It’s not at all urgent, but the water pressure in the kitchen sink is kind of extreme. It’s difficult to keep it from splashing everywhere. In the US, you can unscrew the end of the faucet and attach an aerator to solve the problem, but looking at the faucet, I’m not sure if it’s possible here. (Or if that’s OK for us to do.)

I’d love any advice you have!

Laura

Her email to me:

Hi Laura

Thank you for your email.  

The water pressure at San Remo is notoriously strong (4x normal pressure), it is a communal system so not one that we can control or interfere with. 

I will send a message to the block management company and ask if there is anything they can suggest which would help.

Kind regards

Not a Russian oligarch

I also was finally contacted about money laundering. The lettings agency emailed and asked for a bank statement. I checked the most recent one, and realized that it had a very large gift from my parents on it, right next to our payment to let the flat. So I sent them February’s instead. They wrote back and asked for 6 months of statements. One of those had a gift on it from E’s mom. And, look, I know that’s not how money laundering works, and they were just looking to ensure that we had regular income from a legitimate source… but it’s something that was funny only after they gave us the thumbs up 🙂

3/23

I’m starting to feel like a swimmer again. And my knee is feeling much better. I did something resembling actual breaststroke this morning, and my push offs are back to their usual mediocrity. 

Did the shopping today. I cannot express how exhausting it is. Doesn’t help that my 2 sherpas are kinda distractible (and the smaller one’s arms aren’t long enough to keep the bags off the ground) – you get what you pay for 🙂

3/24

Besch – tell your cousin that I do like the Pip ‘n Nut and Manilife peanut butters. Now if they would just sell it in more than a single serving size 🙂 300 grams is merely a bite.

Unbelievably, the Pip ’n Nut is even more liquid-y than BJs organic peanut butter. It is basically peanut juice. But yummy.

Bit of a mixed bag this morning. First off, I realized that I haven’t been including walking, running (carrying massively heavy grocery bags a half-mile) in my reports. How much running/biking/etc. I do over the next few months is probably relevant to my Channel training.

This morning I ran to the pool. It took about 27 minutes (less than Tuesday) and was very tiring 🙂

I took it pretty easy in most of practice, but did manage to lay down a couple of respectable 100s at the end (with the opposite of drafting – no lane line on one side of me, and a string line on the other).

3/25

I haven’t slept well this week, but I did better last night. I think my brain just has a lot going on right now – not stressful, particularly, but a lot of “new.”

I’m happy to have figured out so many things this week, ready to have even more figured out, and excited to go see Bath tomorrow.

England Business is now Channel Prep!

And hopefully the balance of sitting-at-my-desk work to prepping-in-the-ocean work will permanently shift.

I didn’t get in the ocean this week, or buy equipment, or make checklists, but I did connect with people here in Bournemouth, and I’ll be swimming with a group in the sea next weekend (I could have done this weekend, but we “did the cultural thing” in Bath, as someone put it.

And I joined the Masters team and made friends and learned to run to practice (sort of – a closed running path turns out to be the culprit behind much running confusion), and to use the bike share and bike to practice (thanks N!!), and just generally started to get myself squared away.

I also started a list of questions for people who know things – it might be a very long list in the end 🙂

The Week at the Pool

Summary

Pool Yardage ~ 20,100 M

OW Yardage ~ 0

Total Yardage ~ 20,100 M

OTHER:

4.5 miles of running

2.5 miles of walking (plus, you know, a lot more)

2.7 miles riding

1 weekend walking around Bath

So how was the week in swimming? I’d say, inconsistent but not terrible, and back to at least a respectable amount of yardage.

Enjoying: Andy’s workouts

Not Enjoying: Retraining my brain, “red top and black top”

The Gory Details

Mon March 21 (~3700 M) – 1 h

• 300 ez (i think i did 250?)
• 6×25 – 12.5 u/w dolphin, 12.5 fly
• 300 pull (even paddles feel bad) breathing 3/5 – couldn’t hold it
• 6×25 12.5 u/w dolphin, 12.5 catchup
• 8×200 on 3:10 aerobic. Tried to take it easy and get some base yards in, but too many people (and one really fast guy) in lane
• 300 kick/swim (think i did 250?)
• 100 ez
• 200 “fast” – 2:50? A little more?
• 100 ez
• 100 “fast” – just under 1:30 – demoralizing
• 100 ez
• 50 “fast” – 40?
• 300 super easy

OTHER : ?

Tue March 22 W/O (~4200 M in less than 1 h 15 – getting better)

Missed w-up

• 5×100 that I used as w-up
• 2x(3x(75 on 1:00; 25 no-breather on :30 (I breathed at least twice each lap); 50 ez on 1:00) 150 ez) with fins and paddles (wheee!). So basically, 4×150 twice through.
• 2×400 on 6:00 (a bit over 5:40 – missing the digital pace clocks… or at least a close analog clock. Also, what is up with the red and black hand, speedo? I do not like red top and black top; I do not like them Sam-I-Am.)
• 4×200 on 3:00 (2:50ish)
• 8×100 on 1:35 (I shut it down and just made the interval (mostly 1:30s, got slower at the end). I don’t know if it was the run over or swimming indoors after several years outdoors, but I had trouble getting my breath throughout the practice. So 800 yards of easy swimming was perfect.)
• 100 CD

As I said, felt so much better. I really noticed my feel for the water being better, as well as feeling lighter. I did have trouble keeping my legs up as much as they should be – always tough for me after running.)

OTHER: 2.22 mile run – 26 minutes according to my watch (30 by time)

Wed March 23: 

W/O #1 (~3300 M) – 1 h

• 200 fr/bk
• 200 fr/br
• 200 25 fly/25 fly kick w/fins (drilled the swim)
• 2×100 IM

• 2x:
• 3×150 on 2:30 w/paddles (felt good – 2:05s?)
• 5×100 (Rnd 1 on 1:30, Rnd 2 on 1:25)

I made all the 100’s, holding about 1:25s on the first and about 1:20s on the second). Felt good.

• 200 ez
• 8×25 fast kick FILO
• 150 CD (had to get to my bus)

W/O #2 (~2900 M) – a little less than 1 h (late bus)

• 200 fr/bk
• 200 fr/br
• 200 fly swim/kick w/fins
• 2×200 IM
• 8×25 – 8M u/w, fast arms (free/bk) on :35
• 8×50 – 8M u/w, fast DPS (fr) on 1:00 (I think)
• 8×75 – odd – ez, even all out (not really) on 1:20 (held about 1:10’s for both)
• 8×100 on the fastest interval you can hold (put on fins and went on 1:25. Held about 1:15s?
• 100 CD

OTHER: Walked home from practice 2.46 miles, 55 min

Thur March 24: (~4200 M) 1 hr 23 min (I actually got there on time, but all the gates were closed and I wasn’t sure if I should wait. I eventually just pushed the button behind the desk myself and went in 🙂 Also, I skipped 650 yards that I could have made, so this could have been 4800. But skipping was the right decision for today.)

• 200 free
• 100 kick (IM)
• 100 IM drill
• 100 kick (IM)
• 100 IM
• 300 pull 
• 10×50 paddles and fins on :45 (I did these smooth and strong – came in just under :40?)

• 3x:
• 500 – choice of equipment (hello, my fin friends)
• 5×100 (1:20 rnd 1; 1:25 rnd 2; 1:30 rnd 3)

I was pretty tired, and my legs are toast right now, so I did 50’s for all of these except numbers 2&4 of the last set and tried to keep up with fast Emily. It worked out pretty well, and the 100s I did were 1:18s at most. If SwimSwam can be believed, that 1:13/1:14 territory. I’m not sure that it can, because those conversions are for races – very different than reps in a practice (the dive comes to mind, for instance).

I mean, if that’s true, the good news is that I should totally be able to keep up with fast Em once I get acclimated.

• 400 CD (I went about as easy as it is possible for a person to go)

OTHER : 2.26 mile run – 27 minutes

Fri March 25: (~1800 M) 1 h

• 2x:
• 150 pull (I swam)
• 50 kick
• 50 something I couldn’t read

• 3x
• 25 off the blocks
• 2×25 pull with buoy at ankles (I had left mine at the other end)
• 25 sprint
• 50 ez
• 50 off the blocks
• 100 ez

(The last 50 off the blocks was a relay – fun, and the only one where I felt like less of a mess. My watch says I went a :33, but it does not seem trustworthy)

• 400 CD

I felt really tired – trying to keep up with Em yesterday (plus running, biking, and life) contributed to a pretty rough-feeling practice. At least it was short 🙂

OTHER : 2.74 mile ride – 30 minutes (not really, I started it early so I wouldn’t forget – I wanted to make sure I had a map of where we rode)